Manners

Perfect visual for this blog, pic: labracknell.blogspot.com

My husband and I always staid away from the typical German expats in the US events.  The idea was to live where we are and not trying to recreate a piece of Germany with German friends, Knoedel (dumplings), Wurst and beer.  Having said that, we are not avoiding Germans either and over the year have made a few German friends and acquaintances.

What keeps throwing me off – after all these years in the US (ever so superficial and fake according to many Germans) are the terrible manners some Germans have.  Just last weekend we run into a family we know on the playground, the husband is German, the kids speak German and we were talking about this and that when another couple with a small boy joined us.  They were Germans, apparently acquaintances of our friends , speaking German standing not three feet away from us talking to them about soccer practice and other kids stuff and – never, not with one word or gesture – even acknowledging the presence of the three of us.  I mean, hello, I am 5’10” my husband well over 6′ and my son never stops talking – you can’t miss us!  Ever!  If you do not acknowledge our presence then you do it deliberately and where I live (apparently not where I am from) that is rude – with a capital R.

It has happened to me before – so there is a theme – back on a summer vacation in Germany.  I went to a gym class with my son, my friend and her daughter and a whole bunch of mothers.  We all sit there, leaning against the wall waiting for the kids to finish there class, and nobody (my friend the exception, of course) , absolutely nobody even saying as much as “hi, who are you?  I am Mary, little Timmy’s mom”  to me.  Nothing, nobody, not a word, not a single person acknowledging that I even exist.

Does anybody have even the attempt of an explanation for such behavior?

Call me a superficial fake Americanized Whatever – but a bit of superficial nicety beats heartfelt rudeness any old day – at least in my book.