Self-Reliance

If I only had one word to characterize Americans “self-reliance” would be it.   It describes the heart and soul of America – as well as many of its (current political) excesses.

okay, a climber on a mountain top is plenty cliche but still expresses the idea quite well. Pic: skyscanner.net

Self-reliance is defined as “reliance on one’s own capabilities, judgment, or resources” and that is what I observe here every day and what attracted me to this country from the very start.  Back then it was more of a gut feeling, I left business school and just knew that the US would be the country which offered the better opportunities, that this would be the country where I could be successful and people would applaud me for it, not begrudge me my success.

As annoying the whole “everything will be alright” mantra is when heard too many times -especially in situations where things appear so hopeless that you can’t believe anything will ever be alright again – it is by far a better attitude then complaining, whining or surrendering.  As cliche the “glass half full” saying might be it is nevertheless true.  In America the glass is always half full, the sun will always rise again and – eventually, you just believe me – everything will be alright.

Overall this is an endearing quality that might come across as a tad naive to jaded Europeans when in fact it is just the expression of a very strong and fundamental belief that, indeed, everything will be alright.  It is not just lip service but in its core the conviction that everybody can get up and start over.

That is the good part of self-reliance.  The part that made it possible for this country to be settled by immigrants who crossed snow peaked mountains in rickety wagons and trekked across endless deserts with not much more than their determination to make it (leaving the discussion about how native American were mistreated aside for the moment).

Then there is a very dark side to self-reliance.  The one we are seeing now so openly and unabashedly displayed by the Republican party.  The point where self-reliance crosses the line to social Darwinism (interestingly enough often the loudest proponents of Social Darwinism by whatever name are the same people that call Evolution “The Monkey Theory” and insist their kids are taught creationism in school).

As much as I applaud self-reliance and the will to get up and try again one cannot cast aside everybody who for some reason or another is unable to do so as “unworthy”.  There is historical precedent for it and as I German – although even my parents where too young to have any part in that period of our history – I know a thing or two about it.

A society is only worth that label if it is willing to take care of and support its weakest.  Even after 200+ years history of living, breathing and preaching self reliance not everybody has the health, education, or strength to get up and try harder.   Not everybody can be an entrepreneur, investment banker (God forbid) or run Bain Capital.  And it is okay, we don’t need that many people who run Bain Capital but we need many people to do the ordinary stuff in life and we need to provide them with enough security that if they stumble and fall – which is entirely human – there is a cane to help them get up.

Self reliance is a valuable and admirable quality – taken to the extreme it is a vile and inhuman philosophy which, I had hoped, would never rear its ugly head again.

Left Coast of the Country

California – the beautiful “left coast” of the country, pic: geology.com

I live in Silicon Valley and that choice of location seems to reflect my political leanings very well: I am a liberal from the left coast – and with that tend to fall into the category “socialist” or even “commie” for most of the rest of the nation.  When I go back to Germany my political views put me squarely with the CDU, that is, the center-right party, not the social democrats (this realization came to me as a shock as all my life I considered myself a social democrat but the reality just does not support that claim anymore).  I say “center-right” with the utmost caution because that party is still to the left of where the modern day democrats are in the US, at least on things like social welfare issues.

So every time I cross the Atlantic somehow I am morphing – mostly unbeknownst to me – into a different person, the bleeding heart liberal turns into a social hard ass who thinks, for example, that it is unfair and counterproductive to provide as many incentives as Germany does for people to remain unemployed and to exploit the system.

When here in the US,  on the other hand, we get in trouble for voicing radical opinions like that a society should be able and willing to care for its weakest and most frail without asking “What have you done for me lately?”, without telling them to get their shit together and stop being a parasite on society and without any hint to any religion.

Maybe that explains why our answer to the question “where do you live?” when somebody in Germany or actually Europe asks us always is “California”.  Occasionally – when I have the impression I am dealing with somebody geographically advanced – I will say  “San Francisco Bay Area” or “Silicon Valley”.  However, never will I say America or the United States.

It would just raise too many questions.

Hello world!

I have lived in the US for 15 years.  First in Boston, then in the San Francisco Bay Area.  I am German, my husband Austrian,  and our son, well a Californian with a US and a German passport, mostly Indian friends, a cute Austrian accent, and a distinct preference for Sushi.  We like to think of ourselves as Europeans and frequently wonder “Is it time to go back?”

With that question come a lot more:

• “Can I stand the foul weather in winter?” (being a spoiled Californian brat)
• “Will all the rules and regulations drive me insane?”
• “Will I ever get used to not shopping on Sundays?”
• “Isn’t German politics just to darn boring compared to the craziness we experience here every day?”
• “How will be be able to live without excellent affordable Sushi and authentic Indian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Mexican ,…. food?”
• “What if I order a tall latte with extra non-fat soy milk and a dash – but definitely not more – cherry syrup?  Will they send me to the loonie bin?”
• “Where can I buy a pinata?”
• “Can I get used to my computer talking to me in German?”
• “What will I do with all those holiday and vacation days?”

– wait, that last one is not going to pose a major problem.

On the other hand there is much we like about Europe, or should I say Germany, as this is where we would return to.  To name but a few:

• People actually walk or bike to lovely medieval towns with actual city centers where they sit down in a quaint cafe and have a decent cup of coffee – no syrup, ever.
• Most people stop working by 5ish.  Afterwards everybody seems to be biking, hiking, kayaking, picnicking, lollygagging, drinking beer, enjoying life
• People have 6 weeks of paid vacation, which, I have to admit, compares very favorably to the 10 days we get here.
• Politics is a lot less nasty
• Nobody cooks meat and potatoes like the southern Germans (no raw fish – ever!)
• Italy is close, so is France, Switzerland, Austria, come to think, in the time it takes me to drive to LA I can cross a bunch of countries
• It is very easy to get modern furniture and hardware (call me crazy but those faux vintage faux golden drawer nobs and ornate shelf brackets we get here drive me insane.  Let’s not even talk about the fountains that all seem to sport either Bambi or a concrete turtle or some faux broken piece of pottery)

After weighing the pros and cons for years the decision was made that we go back.  For a year.  A trial year so to speak.

This blog will chronicle our trials and tribulations in trying to achieve this, and, if we do, how that year In Germany will go.

I welcome your comments and certainly any useful tips.